Why is it that men have such a hard time expressing themselves? Why is it that men find everything but the heart issue to speak on? Why is it that men hold in everything that is bothering them only to blow up at something that has nothing to do with the reason for their feelings? Simple, FUCKED UP TRAINING!!!!! From the earliest stages of childhood males are taught that pain and emotions are signs of weakness. We are taught to never let em see you sweat, and if you fall get up and dust yourself off and keep it moving. In the words of the repair man from WANTED its time to fix a lifetime of mistakes. There is nothing weak about expressing your feelings. In fact you are a stronger man for it. It takes a lot to realize an issue and to face the issues head on. Its almost the same as asking for help. Sometimes you have to do it in order to progress on life. Like Spoc on star trek you are emotionally compromised because you are holding in your feelings. Feelings and emotions are like the contents of a pressurized container, if you put enough into it at some point it will explode under the right (or wrong) conditions. Another reason why men hold things in, is a fear of self realization. They dont want to deal with or face the fact that they may be coming up short or not all they thought they were.
This is also ok. If you do not know where you are lacking how can you improve??? Here are some steps you can follow to fix your emotional fuck ups.
1. This may seem like some Bitch shit but its not when you are feeling something if you dont wanna verbalize it write it down but get it out your system. These negative feelings carry negative energy and at some point all that energy will have to go somewhere. Even positive feelings (mostly related to irrational emotions) can produce negative energy. Get these feelings off your chest in some way shape or form.
2. Don't wait to express whatever your feeling, sometimes its best to get the feelings out while you are in the initial emotion because you will get out the purest form of the feeling. You will hold nothing back and allow it all to come out.
3. Understand the reasons behind your feelings. before you aim at someone that has nothing to do with what you're going through know why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Sometimes you can be the cause of your own feelings. No one can do to you what you dont allow them to. What do i mean by that?? A person can only upset you if you let them.
4. Know the difference between emotions and feelings.
emotionsplural of e·mo·tion (Noun)1. A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.
2. Any of the particular feelings that characterize such a state of mind, such as joy, anger, love, hate, horror, etc.
feel·ing (flng)n.1. a. The sensation involving perception by touch.
b. A sensation experienced through touch.
c. A physical sensation: a feeling of warmth.
2. An affective state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments, or desires: experienced a feeling of excitement.
3. An awareness or impression: He had the feeling that he was being followed.
4. a. An emotional state or disposition; an emotion: expressed deep feeling.
b. A tender emotion; a fondness.
If you didnt understand these let me break it down for you. Your feelings are a result of your emotions....What does that mean....YOU EMOTIONAL MUTHAFUCKAS THAT DONT HAVE A PROPER REACTION TO SAID EMOTIONS END UP GETTING THEIR FEELINGS HURT BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THAT SHIT OFF YA CHEST!!!!!!!
Learn to communicate. Its not always about knowing how to say something. sometimes people who are really there for you or really give a fuck about you will understand just from the emotion you are conveying. Im not asking men to turn into a bunch of weeping whiny bitches. But what im telling you to do is break the fucked up cycle of teaching our sons to be emotionally stiffled thats why we have so many woman beaters and motha fuckas who cant stay outta shit. They are hurting or going through shit and dont know how to express if because their fathers were fucktards.....dont be a fucktard, teach your son the value of expression.
Peace
Osiris the god